


We Dance Round in a Ring and Suppose

by Merfilly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Mentioned Original Character - Freeform, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 00:38:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8349415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: After Z'ambique, Rex encounters his Commander, and tries to help her with the weight of the war.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [B_Radley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Radley/gifts).
  * Inspired by [It Hath No Stalk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8069680) by [B_Radley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Radley/pseuds/B_Radley). 



> [B_Radley](http://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Radley/pseuds/B_Radley) invited me to give a shot at Rex and Ahsoka, looking back on the mission on Z'ambique. I can only hope I have not messed up details, and that I have done justice to their amazing story.

The Captain walked into the mess hall with a mind to getting a kaf before making an inspection round. He wasn't expecting to see the Commander up and sitting by herself at the table farthest from the door. He didn't much care for the line of her shoulders, or the fact she was there alone.

When had she gotten cleared by medical, anyway? He made a note to tell Kix to alert him next time this happened, while grim over that possibility.

The kriffing kid wasn't even out of her cadet years; why in the stars was she out here with them? Some days, he was certain the _jetiise_ had taken leave of their senses. It seemed to start young, though, given the commander on the last mission they had worked with.

Getting his cup of kaf, Rex steeled his spine and shoulders, walking over to deal with the kid. He still didn't feel comfortable working with her, but he had to admit she had skill to back up the heart. This whole last operation had shown that in spades, even if she had gotten hurt.

"Hey, kid," he said at a little distance from her, even though a _jetii_ should feel him coming. She didn't flinch at his voice, so maybe she was more aware than she looked.

"Hey, Rexter," she said, but she didn't look up from her drink. It startled him to find that he was worried over that as she was typically one to make eye contact. He sat opposite her, letting the silence stretch a bit, to see if she opened up. From his limited experience with her, she didn't usually do 'quiet' for long.

This time, however, was proving that no _jetii_ ever played by routine. "What's eating at you, kid?" he finally asked, noting she hadn't really touched the drink, and it smelled like the spicy cocoa that was popular with some of the shinies, the ones that had joined them after Christophsis.

Now she did look up, and he had to keep himself from reacting to the raw emotions on her face. Something had happened during the operation, his gut told him, that had wreaked her Jedi training. She drew in a breath, and he watched the transformation of that raw, open look toward the mask (and he would always wonder if it was a mask, going forward from here) of youthful cheer.

"Nothing really, Old Boy," she said, giving him a tight smile. "I probably ought to get up to the command deck, right?"

"Given as how you must be fresh out of medical, no," Rex told her. "Commander, do you actually trust me?" he asked, deciding to play the emotional low-blow, to make her open up. He couldn't keep his men safe if she wasn't stable, after all, and those emotions had been so strong in her face. Probably in the lekku as well, but he hadn't managed to learn that language yet. 

She blinked in startled surprise. "Of course, Captain. Skyguy does and the men do and why wouldn't I?" she said quickly.

He half-shrugged at the last, seeing that she was worried over if she had done something wrong with him, appreciating that. "If you do, then you really shouldn't try to lie to me. Not when our men depend on both of us being at the top of our game to keep them alive."

Those shoulders crumpled a little, and her face slipped out of the mask, before she lowered her eyes. "I don't mean to, Rex. I've just… I'm supposed to be better than this? I'm not supposed to let my emotions get the better of me. I'm not supposed to hold onto the bad ones. I'm not even really supposed to cling to the good ones, because a Jedi lives for others," she said softly.

There was a load of karking bantha shit if he'd ever heard one. And the _jetiise_ kept lecturing the Vod'e over accepting that they were men, not products? When they couldn't even see their own philosophy was against everything Rex had managed to learn about **living** so far? 

"Kid, I'm beginning to think that a lot of what you learned in your Temple isn't going to mesh so well with the practical side of living in a war," he said. "If you can't meditate your way out of what you're feeling, you really ought to open up to someone about it." 

He watched as a very sharp canine worried at the corner of a lip, a reminder that the kid really was dangerous on a level that went beyond what the average _jetii_ was. That had been proven on this mission, based on all the reports he had managed to grab from his fellow officers. It just didn't change the fact she was very much a kid trying to fill an adult's role in life. He'd heard line and verse from Kix over her medical work-up, after all, with older injuries that had healed hiding under that lean muscle and still-growing form.

"Is it right to want to remember the ones that die? On their side, I mean, the ones… the ones I kill? I mean, a lot of the soldiers are just people following their hearts and leaders, and they believe in their side of things as much as we believe in ours, right? Is it okay to want to remember them?"

The words kind of burst out of her, and it slowly dawned on Rex what had to have happened.

His kid-Commander had killed a sentient, maybe more than one, for the first time. She wouldn't have had countless simulations to help push the immediacy away, and worse, she would have had to feel the life leaving, because of her actions.

"It's not wrong," he said gruffly. "Now, we ever get that piece of filth Dooku out of the way, he deserves to be forgotten, turned to oblivion. But you're right. When we do run up against sentients, a lot of them are following orders, same as we are, many with about as much choice," Rex advised her. "So let yourself remember them."

The sigh of relief that escaped her made Rex's nerves settle more. If she had gone into the next fight, still torn up over that, she might have frozen up at the wrong moment, if she had come face to face with a sentient. 

"You're not wrong about Dooku," Ahsoka agreed. She lifted her cup, taking a sip of the cocoa, but Rex was certain there was more. Was it because of the other commander, the one she'd known and agreed to help with a dangerous plan?

"So, Commander Croft seemed a bit different from the usual Jedi we've run into," he said, watching her. This time, when she brightened up, it was full and the lekku moved differently. This was no mask, and he was right about that commander mattering to her. Was that the source of worrying about hanging on to the good ones?

"He wouldn't be," she said with a soft smile. "He's Master Ti's padawan… was." That brought a shake of her head and a wider smile, given that she had been there to not only see him make Knight but to help in the doing. "He was my youngling clan leader. Didn't like him at first… but I generally didn't like my leaders. They were all so arrogant. But I came around, and he wasn't so bad, protecting us from the worst bullies.

"And then he is my hunt-brother, in the way of my people," she added, before shaking her head. "He'll do fine. I know he will. But… I worry? Because he has a bad habit of bleeding everywhere."

Rex snorted; the guy had looked like he went through a meat-grinder in some ways. "Nothing, Commander, is ever certain," he advised her. "All you can do is keep faith in your friend's abilities, until word comes that they weren't enough. None of us is going to live forever, after all. And having a war on, well, it shortens the odds."

Ahsoka nodded. "Yeah… I just sometimes get that worry in my stomach that maybe that's the last time I'm ever going to see him."

"Can't let that thinking eat at you, but I understand it."

She looked up at him, her face still and thoughtful. "Thanks, Rexter, for listening. You're right; I do need to talk sometimes. I just haven't gotten used to trying to be an actual padawan, and where that means the lines are."

"Well, kid, you need an ear, come find me," he said, sitting back to finish his kaf, while she worked on her cocoa, the silence falling far more easily now.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Past is Prologue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8416045) by [B_Radley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Radley/pseuds/B_Radley)




End file.
